As big as a horse's leg

Dr. Doc,

So, you know those supplements you recommend we take?

I have questions about them.

The Chromium Picolinate? What in the heck is that? And where does one find this in nature?
And more importantly, is it made from real piccolos?

The "Women's Ultra Mega" multivitamin. The bottle says it supports healthy hair, skin and nails. I want you to know that I expect to have flowing, glossy hair by the time I reach the end of this bottle. And if my nails could actually grow past my fingertip without splintering in three places, that'd be great, too. Yep, I've got some high hopes for these. Oh, and they have folic acid and all those B vitamins. Those are great, too. (Although to be honest, I'm really hoping for better hair and nails.)

The D-3. I can feel my bones getting stronger. Okay, no, I can't. But is this like sunshine in pill form? Because I swear, I'm feeling a little more perky these days. And heaven knows I don't see much sunlight, because let's be honest. I'm a writer. We don't go out during the day.

The Triple Strength Fish Oil. You're right, it doesn't taste like anything. And I have even avoided that horrible phenomenon you mentioned as "fish burps." (The gal at GNC said if I put them in the freezer and swallow them frozen, the fish burps will be avoided because the pill will be past the stomach by the time it thaws. TMI, if you ask me.)

But... those fish oil pills. You've heard of the expression "horse pills?" These are beyond "as big as a horse's leg." Because that is obviously an exaggeration. This, however is not: the fish oil pills are the size of my mom's kitten's front leg. I am not even kidding. If I can aim them like torpedoes, and they go down my throat the long way, I can get them down with only a few panicked seconds of "I'm going to throw up, I'm going to throw up." But if they go sideways? I am pretty sure they could cut off my air supply.

Death by fish oil. That's something I think I'd like to avoid.

Your "I have an overactive gag reflex" patient,

Heather